A little over a week ago I intended to use this space to shout from the rooftops that my friends the Excons were playing at Swanson’s Warehouse Saturday night with other local favorites of mine Ill Intentions and Psycho Psycho. It was the perfect mixed bill show that Parlor Pinks Events has become masters of and, had I been in town, would have been a great way to spend the waning hours of my wife and I’s 12 anniversary shenanigans. None of this came to pass, however, because we were on a family vacation in Cozumel, Mexico which, while I am hardly complaining about the vacation, it was definitely the opposite musical experience of seeing the Excons to say the least.
To be fair, we did not go to Mexico for the music. We went for the family bonding, sun, fun, and the bottomless pit of food and libations that an all-inclusive resort has to offer. Local cerveza flowed like water (because it is, essentially) as we made memories that will last a lifetime.
But, dear God, the music…
At a Cozumel resort, there are only a few types of music you can listen to apparently. Spoiler alert… none of them are good. First is the “Made for Middle Aged Americans Playlist” which consists of a lot of 1970’s – 1990’s pop rock standards. While I understand the value in Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen, and the like, it was comical to see day drunk American white women scream out “This is my favorite song!” for the third or fourth song in a row. And Krissa – I know your name because it was airbrushed on your towel – your suntan-lotion-applying sing-a-long performance of The B-52’s “Love Shack” was more suited for the local strip club’s amateur night than the next karaoke night at your neighborhood pub. Just sayin’, Girl.